Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
