you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
it's great music for shaving your balls
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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