We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Randomize
