this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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