She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Randomize
