I puked a lego.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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