11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
