you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
he told me I talked like a deaf person
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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