You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Your topless pictures make me question reality
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Randomize
