who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
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