I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix