I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize