Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
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He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
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I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.