I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
50% drunk capacity currently
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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