Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack