Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(802): View more from Vermont

You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?

(1-802): View more from Vermont

The one in Montpelier?

(802): View more from Vermont

yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.

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(802): You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns? (1-802): The one in Montpelier? (802): yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed. http://tfl.nu/hzcv

Replies (53) Good night (501) Bad night (2250)
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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"

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(484): then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon" http://tfl.nu/oypv

Replies (7) Good night (3971) Bad night (537)
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(870): View more from Arkansas

Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.

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(870): Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine. http://tfl.nu/j38c

Replies (56) Good night (5670) Bad night (1263)
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(770): View more from Georgia

The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.

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(770): The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end. http://tfl.nu/4vu6

Replies (24) Good night (672) Bad night (3748)
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(315): View more from New York

It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.

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(315): It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar. http://tfl.nu/d08o

Replies (26) Good night (4025) Bad night (885)
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(+32): View more from Belgium

We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.

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(+32): We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers. http://tfl.nu/61q6

Replies (13) Good night (6558) Bad night (982)
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(513): View more from Ohio

We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.

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(513): We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case. http://tfl.nu/f3uf

Replies (17) Good night (3839) Bad night (862)
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(618): View more from Illinois

she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.

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(618): she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing. http://tfl.nu/tedj

Replies (9) Good night (891) Bad night (2727)
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(239): View more from Florida

Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.

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(239): Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox. http://tfl.nu/ld2z

Replies (2) Good night (2464) Bad night (648)
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(785): View more from Kansas

Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".

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(785): Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur". http://tfl.nu/3gb4

Replies (8) Good night (2436) Bad night (867)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.

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(717): he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys. http://tfl.nu/b5qg

Replies (9) Good night (4802) Bad night (772)
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(818): View more from California

You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.

(805): View more from California

Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.

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(818): You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy. (805): Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people. http://tfl.nu/c90f

Replies (2) Good night (2247) Bad night (585)
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(715): View more from Wisconsin

tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.

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(715): tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder. http://tfl.nu/8ixi

Replies (6) Good night (863) Bad night (1285)
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(714): View more from California

im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.

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(714): im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats. http://tfl.nu/387j

Replies (8) Good night (2347) Bad night (785)
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(770): View more from Georgia

You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.

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(770): You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask. http://tfl.nu/fd4w

Replies (3) Good night (1216) Bad night (317)

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