bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
