I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Is it penis luge time yet?
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
