she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
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