giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
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