Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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