just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
