we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
