Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
