how hairy? two words: wookie tits
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
It's shark week go big or go home
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
