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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.

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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society

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• (647): View more from Ontario

  Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."

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• (225): View more from Louisiana

  Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  Okay we're getting vodka and coming

  (1-513): View more from Ohio

  Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...

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• (650): View more from California

  I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah

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• (225): View more from Louisiana

  I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on

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• (262): View more from Wisconsin

  He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?

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• (480): View more from Arizona

  At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.

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• (901): View more from Tennessee

  My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real

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