i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Randomize
