i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
