I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Do you have feelings for this penis?
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
