it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
