THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
no more duck duck goose at the bar
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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