I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Sex in the backyard? Check.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
