Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
tell me about the fingering
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