i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize
