there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
