I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
