so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
