Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
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