The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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