I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
