D3 body, D1 cock
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
