he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
