anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I have feelings that need drinking.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
