I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
