big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
worst night to have a conscience
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
