So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
