idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize