Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
