Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
