booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
This toilet bowl is my home.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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