Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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