Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
