He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
