was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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