She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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