just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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