he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
