Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
you didnt know i had herpes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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