where am i from again
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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