we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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