We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
