we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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