its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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