Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
